So, I'm sure some of you are wondering what happened, and to be honest, life sometimes gets in the way of previously made plans. That being said, I have ideas for the next post, I just haven't been able to iron out the details enough to get a functional post up, But I think you for your patience and for keeping an eye on the blog for the latest and greatest. . .
Some of my friends have shared their thoughts and immediate reactions to my blog. Some were as I expected, the "Hmmmmkay . . .I like it but it's weird cos I know you" and others are saying Right on! this needs to be said, Thank you so much for having the brass and courage to actually do it! . . .I even found out some of my ex coworkers are running around going OMGOMGOMG! Have you seen Ken's Sex blog?!?!? which made me LOL! I just wish there was more input on their reaction. . was that a good thing? a bad thing? Its publicity regardless, so I'm cool with it. . . I love hearing feedback, so if you think I'm doing a good job, let me know! or if you think I'm way off base, let me know how in the comments below or in a message to me on my google+ or facebook! Is there something you wish your partner knew but aren't comfortable telling them? let me know and I'll see about putting something up discussing that topic! Something you want to know more about? Just let me know!!
I also want to say thanks! to all of my readers this far! your visits and comments are what drive me to continue and indirectly let me know there is an interest in this sort of thing. Keep checking back, I'll have another post up soon!
Thanks again!
Ken
Friday, November 14, 2014
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Am I not good enough for you? - Part 2 -
There's more to cover on those pesky, taboo, toys! Are you self conscious about using them? Does that guilty feeling take you over every time you think about some alone time to get that relief your yearning for and just don't want to wait until your partner is available? Do you cringe every time they go into the bedroom alone and wonder if they will find "it"?
This is something that you really need to discuss with your partner and figure out how to get past. If they are level headed and mature and you 2 have an open line of communication, you should be able to work this out like the adults you are. The 1st thing you both need to understand is that you're human and have basic human needs. the 2nd thing, is understanding that you both are not always going to be able to get together at the same moment to satisfy those needs, nor are you both going to want to satisfy those needs at the same time. Some of us have higher sex drives then others, but the truth of the matter is that we all don't have cycles that mesh. This leads to a choice in how to handle this problem. You can chose to ignore it and just hold out until you both can get together and scrump each others brains out, (yeah, not a fan of that idea either) OR you can find another partner who's time table may be more attuned to yours, (good luck with that) have a "friend" that you can go to at a moments notice to take the edge off (not too many are for this plan) and finally, you can handle it yourself with either the bare hands you were born with, or a sexual aid. out of all these possibilities, I think most will see that Sex Toys is really the lesser of all "evils"
Lets face it folks. I believe I read somewhere that 96% of everyone, masturbates. and the other 4% lie. Its a natural thing and you seriously need to learn to come to grips with it. (yes, intentional pun) Be happy in the fact that your partner would rather take matters into their own hands and gratify themselves then go outside the relationship and have someone else do it for them. There are Tried and true methods for doing this for both men and woman and since everyone is different, sometimes a little help is needed to truly reach that itch properly. For women, there's all sorts of vibrators and dildos. And for men, the last few years, they've been making affordable devices for us as well! some vibrate, some are just sleeves. long gone are the days of dropping a couple hundred on a full blow up doll.
Moral to the story here folks, Sexual Aids have been around for years and masturbation has been around since we've had arms long enough to reach. . (the real reason the T-Rex was always pissed off! Think about it!) So you can either chose to feel jealous over a piece of battery operated silicone or be thankful your partner is keeping it in the home.
This is something that you really need to discuss with your partner and figure out how to get past. If they are level headed and mature and you 2 have an open line of communication, you should be able to work this out like the adults you are. The 1st thing you both need to understand is that you're human and have basic human needs. the 2nd thing, is understanding that you both are not always going to be able to get together at the same moment to satisfy those needs, nor are you both going to want to satisfy those needs at the same time. Some of us have higher sex drives then others, but the truth of the matter is that we all don't have cycles that mesh. This leads to a choice in how to handle this problem. You can chose to ignore it and just hold out until you both can get together and scrump each others brains out, (yeah, not a fan of that idea either) OR you can find another partner who's time table may be more attuned to yours, (good luck with that) have a "friend" that you can go to at a moments notice to take the edge off (not too many are for this plan) and finally, you can handle it yourself with either the bare hands you were born with, or a sexual aid. out of all these possibilities, I think most will see that Sex Toys is really the lesser of all "evils"
Lets face it folks. I believe I read somewhere that 96% of everyone, masturbates. and the other 4% lie. Its a natural thing and you seriously need to learn to come to grips with it. (yes, intentional pun) Be happy in the fact that your partner would rather take matters into their own hands and gratify themselves then go outside the relationship and have someone else do it for them. There are Tried and true methods for doing this for both men and woman and since everyone is different, sometimes a little help is needed to truly reach that itch properly. For women, there's all sorts of vibrators and dildos. And for men, the last few years, they've been making affordable devices for us as well! some vibrate, some are just sleeves. long gone are the days of dropping a couple hundred on a full blow up doll. Moral to the story here folks, Sexual Aids have been around for years and masturbation has been around since we've had arms long enough to reach. . (the real reason the T-Rex was always pissed off! Think about it!) So you can either chose to feel jealous over a piece of battery operated silicone or be thankful your partner is keeping it in the home.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Am I not good enough for you? - Part 1 -
Yes, you are reading that correctly. That's what I'm talking about today, and NO it's not a bad thing. For years they have gotten a bad rap and I'm here to tell you that using these little wonders isn't bad and aren't just for women anymore. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some take batteries, some plug into the wall, and some just use good, old fashion manual power.
Sex Toys, or sexual aids, have been around for decades and were originally developed to treat what doctors originally thought was "female hysteria" and thought that by inducing an orgasm, would cure this condition. Our medical knowledge has come along ways since these days and now these little miracle wonders of delight can be ordered online in discrete packaging or picked up in an adult
store and brought home to bring out the elusive "O"
So lets set the scene. You have been together with your partner for a while now and you finally take it to the next level and move in together. as you're putting away your stuff you open their night stand drawer, forgetting which side you agreed upon, and there it is! OMG! why do they still have THAT? I thought we were doing just fine, maybe I'm not as good as I thought. . It's tragic what all the thoughts that go through ones mind are when they 1st find their partners "Toy" or, God forbid, "ToyS"
This is an old mindset and it really needs to be adjusted and thought of more as Aids in pleasure and less of replacements. They sure can work all by themselves, but just think the added pleasure they could bring with incorporated into your sexual escapades. There are multiple ways they can be used to heighten the experience and the sky is the limit and only the extent of your imagination can limit you. Talk to your lover about the what you found. Discuss bringing in aids. Use the internet and find one of the many sites that sell them and look at them together to see what might just add to the next level "O" that you can experience with your partner. You just might be surprised.
Friday, October 17, 2014
What's something Non-sexual that Gets your motor going?
I have updated the blog to allow Anonymous comments and I want to hear what your lover can do to flip your switch! Is it a scent trigger? Sight? Let me know in the comments below.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Foreplay: It's not just for erotic novels
Yes, I went there, and I'm going to discuss it. Foreplay is an important part of getting her there and for her to really enjoy herself. Are you finding that you're having to purchase lube by the gallon? does she always seem dry? Yes, some of it has to do with actual medical issues and it can be a problem as a woman gets older, but it may not be either of those. Some women just aren't given the opportunity to get their natural juices flowing.
Men, have you ever experienced that OMG experience where Jr just doesn't want to rise to the occasion? Commercials will have you believe that maybe you need a little blue pill. Maybe your mind just isn't in the game. Stress is a HUGE factor for both men and women when it comes to preforming in the bedroom. Foreplay can be the missing answer to both of these problems. Lets discuss the topic a little bit more.
I'm going to start with the definition from the dictionary.
have hit the floor. I would like to take it back a step or 12. Foreplay can start before you even get out of bed that morning. Give your partner a good morning kiss. Men, Start a load of dishes before heading out the door for work. Women, Pack his lunch for him with his favorites. You could also at some point in the day, send an "I love you" text or "Thinking about you" (this might work better on the women then men,) And once you're both home, maybe he looks like he had a rough day, gently rub his back and ask him how his day was. Men, this is where you need to have done your homework. What does she do every night? what does she like to do? Maybe run a bath for her with some of her favorite scented soaps if that's her thing, or of you know ahead of time that her day was particularly difficult, you could stop and grab her a bouquet of flowers and have them in a vase on the dining room table when she walks in.
The point here is to show a little initiative and sensitivity. Show them you're paying attention to them and their needs and that you're willing to take the extra step to be supportive. Sometimes that's all it takes to get them to relax and relieve some tension, or maybe forget about the world around them for just a few minutes. You would be surprised at how just an offer to help make dinner changes your partners mood to your benefit and get you that night you've been hoping for. The 1st part of foreplay is to get their mind there. If you can do that, it'll be much easier in the bedroom to get their body there.
Which brings us to the bedroom. The part everyone assumes we're talking about when "Foreplay" is mentioned. some of the material mentioned above can carry over here as far as thought processes go. Does your partner have an "Instant on" button? That's great! If not, there's some work to be done, but the prize is worth it! If you play your cards right, everyone comes out a winner in the end.
Use all the senses to your benefit. Sight is one that everyone relates to. Maybe do a little strip tease for them. You don't have to be Magic Mike, if your partner is into you, and you have any kind of rhythm, it could be a crowd pleaser regardless! Pay attention to her bra and panties, men. If they're frilly and lacey, comment on them! Women love to look good, not just for them, but for you too.
Make sure she knows you appreciate it.
Sound is one that a lot of people overlook and can be difficult when you have children in the next room, but sometimes a whisper can be more of a turn on. Whisper in their ear and tell them how hot you are and how hot they make you feel and maybe nibble the ear. Respond with a groan or moan when something feels good or sounds good. It lets the other person know that you like what they're doing and just might make a note of it to try it again in the future. Dirty talk is something that isn't for everyone though, so you're going to want to be receptive to how they react if you try it and they don't like it, you'll be able to tell if you're paying attention.
Smell is one you really need to be on top of. There are some smells that totally turn a person off. This should be something that doesn't need said, but I'm going to anyway. Please make sure you're keeping everything cleaned up and deodorant is being used and that any perfume or cologne you wear is appreciated by both parties and that you didn't bathe in it. trust me, a small spritz goes a long way. One way to use scent to your advantage is light her favorite scented candle in the room before she enters. Women find candles to be very romantic and if she smells that you're using her scented ones (please be careful mixing scents if you're inexperienced, just use one scented one) that may play well into your court as well.
Taste can play in with flavored lotions or lubes or even food! I'm sure you've read somewhere about using whipped cream or chocolate syrup. Give it a go! It may not be something you'd want to do regularly, but sometimes mixing it up makes the experience that much more enjoyable.
And that brings us to touch. For the love of all that's sacred, don't go straight to the goods! Prolong the anticipation. Make them want whats coming. Tease is the name of the game! Kiss them, but trace the tip of your tongue lightly over their lips. Gently nibble their earlobe when you tell them how much you want them. Flick your tongue against their neck as you work down to their nipples. Yes, you should be paying attention to them also. And don't be afraid to use your teeth, just don't draw blood! Nibbling is a turn on, most don't find a band aide run sexy, and it's a safe bet to leave the fangs out of the equation when you go below decks.
The biggest thing to remember with Foreplay is to tease and prolong the experience. Use the body's erogenous zones to get the motors going. Then once you go in, you don't have to just dive in and go to town either. Use all the spots together. You have 2 hands and a mouth, use them! If your working on the clit with your finger, maybe use your tongue on her neck or kiss her and lightly roll a nipple between your fingers on the other hand. Go from one to the next. There's no rule that says ones you hit the clit, there's no going back to the breasts.
A good session of foreplay before engaging in intercourse can mean the difference between frustration and multiple orgasms. Learn what gives your partner the most pleasure and work that into the session. And you don't need to hit every one every time. As long as your receptive and alert to what makes them react and your partner also lets you know, there's nothing that can stop you from both achieving the best sexual experience each and every time.
Men, have you ever experienced that OMG experience where Jr just doesn't want to rise to the occasion? Commercials will have you believe that maybe you need a little blue pill. Maybe your mind just isn't in the game. Stress is a HUGE factor for both men and women when it comes to preforming in the bedroom. Foreplay can be the missing answer to both of these problems. Lets discuss the topic a little bit more.
I'm going to start with the definition from the dictionary.
- erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse
- action or behavior that precedes an event
have hit the floor. I would like to take it back a step or 12. Foreplay can start before you even get out of bed that morning. Give your partner a good morning kiss. Men, Start a load of dishes before heading out the door for work. Women, Pack his lunch for him with his favorites. You could also at some point in the day, send an "I love you" text or "Thinking about you" (this might work better on the women then men,) And once you're both home, maybe he looks like he had a rough day, gently rub his back and ask him how his day was. Men, this is where you need to have done your homework. What does she do every night? what does she like to do? Maybe run a bath for her with some of her favorite scented soaps if that's her thing, or of you know ahead of time that her day was particularly difficult, you could stop and grab her a bouquet of flowers and have them in a vase on the dining room table when she walks in.The point here is to show a little initiative and sensitivity. Show them you're paying attention to them and their needs and that you're willing to take the extra step to be supportive. Sometimes that's all it takes to get them to relax and relieve some tension, or maybe forget about the world around them for just a few minutes. You would be surprised at how just an offer to help make dinner changes your partners mood to your benefit and get you that night you've been hoping for. The 1st part of foreplay is to get their mind there. If you can do that, it'll be much easier in the bedroom to get their body there.
Which brings us to the bedroom. The part everyone assumes we're talking about when "Foreplay" is mentioned. some of the material mentioned above can carry over here as far as thought processes go. Does your partner have an "Instant on" button? That's great! If not, there's some work to be done, but the prize is worth it! If you play your cards right, everyone comes out a winner in the end.
Use all the senses to your benefit. Sight is one that everyone relates to. Maybe do a little strip tease for them. You don't have to be Magic Mike, if your partner is into you, and you have any kind of rhythm, it could be a crowd pleaser regardless! Pay attention to her bra and panties, men. If they're frilly and lacey, comment on them! Women love to look good, not just for them, but for you too.
Make sure she knows you appreciate it.
Sound is one that a lot of people overlook and can be difficult when you have children in the next room, but sometimes a whisper can be more of a turn on. Whisper in their ear and tell them how hot you are and how hot they make you feel and maybe nibble the ear. Respond with a groan or moan when something feels good or sounds good. It lets the other person know that you like what they're doing and just might make a note of it to try it again in the future. Dirty talk is something that isn't for everyone though, so you're going to want to be receptive to how they react if you try it and they don't like it, you'll be able to tell if you're paying attention.
Smell is one you really need to be on top of. There are some smells that totally turn a person off. This should be something that doesn't need said, but I'm going to anyway. Please make sure you're keeping everything cleaned up and deodorant is being used and that any perfume or cologne you wear is appreciated by both parties and that you didn't bathe in it. trust me, a small spritz goes a long way. One way to use scent to your advantage is light her favorite scented candle in the room before she enters. Women find candles to be very romantic and if she smells that you're using her scented ones (please be careful mixing scents if you're inexperienced, just use one scented one) that may play well into your court as well.Taste can play in with flavored lotions or lubes or even food! I'm sure you've read somewhere about using whipped cream or chocolate syrup. Give it a go! It may not be something you'd want to do regularly, but sometimes mixing it up makes the experience that much more enjoyable.
And that brings us to touch. For the love of all that's sacred, don't go straight to the goods! Prolong the anticipation. Make them want whats coming. Tease is the name of the game! Kiss them, but trace the tip of your tongue lightly over their lips. Gently nibble their earlobe when you tell them how much you want them. Flick your tongue against their neck as you work down to their nipples. Yes, you should be paying attention to them also. And don't be afraid to use your teeth, just don't draw blood! Nibbling is a turn on, most don't find a band aide run sexy, and it's a safe bet to leave the fangs out of the equation when you go below decks.
The biggest thing to remember with Foreplay is to tease and prolong the experience. Use the body's erogenous zones to get the motors going. Then once you go in, you don't have to just dive in and go to town either. Use all the spots together. You have 2 hands and a mouth, use them! If your working on the clit with your finger, maybe use your tongue on her neck or kiss her and lightly roll a nipple between your fingers on the other hand. Go from one to the next. There's no rule that says ones you hit the clit, there's no going back to the breasts.
A good session of foreplay before engaging in intercourse can mean the difference between frustration and multiple orgasms. Learn what gives your partner the most pleasure and work that into the session. And you don't need to hit every one every time. As long as your receptive and alert to what makes them react and your partner also lets you know, there's nothing that can stop you from both achieving the best sexual experience each and every time.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Finding Time for Sex After Children (Part 2) Impact on the Relationship
After writing the previous post I started thinking more about the original question and the thought or meaning behind it. I'm not sure I addressed the question, but merely tried offering ideas to get around the problem in the 1st place. I'd like to talk a little bit about what having children can do to a relationship and it's effects on your sex life.
In the beginning, after our 1st child was born, he didn't sleep very much, so neither did we. We really didn't think much about sex. Everything we did was to nurture this little tiny human who loved to play this game of "I'll cry and you have to guess what I want" To this day, it is my least favorite game to play and I thank GOD my children can talk! Anyway, it wasn't until a few months went by that I decided I was ready to get back in the saddle, so to speak. The wife had other ideas, I soon found out. It was frustrating, I'm not gonna lie. As time went on, we were able to work in time for us and as he grew, we were able to get more and more time and we were able to work it out so that we were still having intimate time even it it wasn't in the same amount as we were used to. Just because our family grew, didn't mean the hours in the day increased as well and we accepted that.
The biggest thing you have to keep in mind is that you're partner is being effected by this, just like you. You need to keep the lines of Communication open. Trust that they will understand what you're saying, and work toward a common goal. Don't throw accusations that he or she isn't interested any more or say that you're giving up. You have to understand that life changes and you need to adapt to these changes and make them work for you, not against you. Be creative, plan, but be ready to jump at an opportunity! Love what you're given and give love in return. Talk! and remember to listen as well. It takes 2 people to make a baby, and it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. Together, you can get through the touch times and make the good times outstanding!
Remembering back, before children, I enjoyed making love to my partner on a semi-regular basis. Timimg was more along the lines of "Can I get a quicky in before the races start" and less about trying to match schedules. Its something all parents have to deal with and everyone reacts differently. Sometimes people just shut down, try and forget sex or give up on trying to find time. There were times I gave up on waiting for an opportunity to present itself and hearing "I'm tired, I'm not in the mood, or something else" and took care of it myself. Does that make me a bad person? I don't think so, it's just how it works out sometimes. But I didn't give up. We worked through it.
In the beginning, after our 1st child was born, he didn't sleep very much, so neither did we. We really didn't think much about sex. Everything we did was to nurture this little tiny human who loved to play this game of "I'll cry and you have to guess what I want" To this day, it is my least favorite game to play and I thank GOD my children can talk! Anyway, it wasn't until a few months went by that I decided I was ready to get back in the saddle, so to speak. The wife had other ideas, I soon found out. It was frustrating, I'm not gonna lie. As time went on, we were able to work in time for us and as he grew, we were able to get more and more time and we were able to work it out so that we were still having intimate time even it it wasn't in the same amount as we were used to. Just because our family grew, didn't mean the hours in the day increased as well and we accepted that.
Then we had number 2, our daughter. Oh man, here we go again! This time we had talked about it through the pregnancy, we had a plan. We were going to get through this. And again, it was tough on both of us, especially with 2 children now. But we found ways around it as I offered as suggestions in the previous post. Having children changes everything. You buy more, spend more, and end up with less time for everything that needs to be done. Some things have to be altered, but nothing has to be sacrificed. You may not have the energy you want, so you learn to conserve when you can. Cut corners when shopping, like buying in bulk where ya can. Skip the gym on Fridays so you can watch your kids ball games. You make due with what you have.
The biggest thing you have to keep in mind is that you're partner is being effected by this, just like you. You need to keep the lines of Communication open. Trust that they will understand what you're saying, and work toward a common goal. Don't throw accusations that he or she isn't interested any more or say that you're giving up. You have to understand that life changes and you need to adapt to these changes and make them work for you, not against you. Be creative, plan, but be ready to jump at an opportunity! Love what you're given and give love in return. Talk! and remember to listen as well. It takes 2 people to make a baby, and it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. Together, you can get through the touch times and make the good times outstanding!
That's all I have on this one. Remember to click the comment link below and let me know what you want to hear about in the next one!
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Finding Time for Sex after Children (Part 1)
Day 2 and I've already gotten a suggestion! This is exactly what I want, viewer participation, so I wanted to jump right in and address it.
"I wold love for you to address how a love life changes with time, especially going form having little kids (toddlers and preschoolers) to older kids. I feel like raising children is so energy consuming and it really makes everything else, like sex, secondary."
So great, he gets off, but what about her? Yes, quickys do tend to be one sided. This is where communication comes into play. Talk with your partner, work out a plan. Maybe one day a week, your niece can come over and play with the kids while you 2 sneak away upstairs for an extended quicky. Or maybe say on Saturdays everyone gets nap time, that way everyone is well rested for a early bedtime to address the needs of both parents. Also, everyone thinks of getting a baby sitter for a night out of dinner and dancing, why not a night in of sexual debauchery? Find a sitter that will watch the wonderful products of love-fests gone by, in the comforts of their home, while you return to yours! and Men, score some extra points. Send her to drop off the kids and surprise her with candles, her favorite flowers, a bottle of wine, and maybe some flavored lotion?
"I wold love for you to address how a love life changes with time, especially going form having little kids (toddlers and preschoolers) to older kids. I feel like raising children is so energy consuming and it really makes everything else, like sex, secondary."
As I'm sure many of you are aware, children complicate your life to a degree. Every parent has had at least one incident with a child walking into the bedroom at exactly the wrong time ( I know I have ) The scrambling with the covers, the look of horror, the questions running through your head. . . What if they saw? what will they think? Will there be therapy bills in our future?
It started me to thinking and trying to remember what we did when the kids were little. (For the record, my memory for some things is really quite porous). I remember us both working, the kids in daycare, and then running around the house trying to clean, cook, shop, drs visits, outings, and other various "Family Stuff" and realized, yes, there really wasn't alot of time for sexual anything, let alone satisfaction.
So it came down to 2 choices, forego sex, or become creative. (I wasn't at all happy with the idea of the former!) So the latter it was! And let me tell you, right here and now, you have no idea how creative you can be when you have toddlers running around. We would take any and every opportunity we could find to get in a "quicky", Nap time was perfect during the weekend, or helping carry laundry upstairs (after setting up blues clues or teletubbies on the TV) but that presents a whole new set of problems. We could never be out of earshot, we had to learn to either stifle our verbalizations, or otherwise muffle them, and we learned to pad where the flesh met, or you get uncomfortable questions like "I heard you spanking mommy, why?"
So great, he gets off, but what about her? Yes, quickys do tend to be one sided. This is where communication comes into play. Talk with your partner, work out a plan. Maybe one day a week, your niece can come over and play with the kids while you 2 sneak away upstairs for an extended quicky. Or maybe say on Saturdays everyone gets nap time, that way everyone is well rested for a early bedtime to address the needs of both parents. Also, everyone thinks of getting a baby sitter for a night out of dinner and dancing, why not a night in of sexual debauchery? Find a sitter that will watch the wonderful products of love-fests gone by, in the comforts of their home, while you return to yours! and Men, score some extra points. Send her to drop off the kids and surprise her with candles, her favorite flowers, a bottle of wine, and maybe some flavored lotion?
As the kids get older, of course you get more chances to excuse yourself from the room and earshot. It definitely gets easier, but you still have to be careful as they are more apt to wander. I am a big supporter of teaching your children to knock on any closed door before just walking in. This includes bathroom doors and bedroom doors. If its closed, knock! I am also not against a locking doorknob on the bedroom door. This enforces the knocking principal that's already being learned. But just because their older, doesn't mean you can get noisy, so there still may be a need to use a sitter now and again. And no, you're not neglecting your children by doing this. It helps in their cutting of the apron strings, teaches them important interaction skills with other people, and allows you time to unwind and be able to address other important matters in a relationship.
I hope this is what you were looking for and answers some of your questions. Keeping a healthy sexual relationship with your partner and raise a family can be stressful and seem like sex has to go out the window. All you have to do is be willing to talk with your partner and between the 2 of you, come up with ideas that you can work into your life, and then follow through with them. Your sexual health is an important part of your life. To put it on the back burner while you raise a family is only going to cause frustration, resentment, and maybe even unfaithfulness. Tend to all aspects of your family and relationship and satisfaction can be achieved. Thanks for the read and please post your comments or suggestions below!
Namaste
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Why doesn't he do that anymore?
3 main requirements for a healthy relationship, sexual or otherwise, is Respect, Trust, and Communication. I will touch base on all of these in this blog, but I want to start with Communication 1st as you cannot have anything without talking or in some way conveying your needs, wants, and desires. If you have a partner, you've probably gotten the hang of at least the basics.
Lets take this a step further and apply it in the bedroom. Everyone is not built equal. The sooner you realize this and accept it, the better you'll be able to adapt. For example, when stimulating the clitoris, some woman can't handle direct contact from a finger and need an extra layer of skin, usually the hood. How would you know this? Hopefully she's communicated that to you in some way. In the same department, some men need the foreskin pulled up over the head, again, hopefully he's relayed that information to his partner.
Now, what happens if this information isn't relayed verbally? You need to be sensitive to their physical reactions as well. . people use body language to convey feelings that they may not realize or feel comfortable verbally discussing. Pay attention to your partner. Go slow in the beginning and see how they respond. If you notice them pulling away or wincing, you may want to try a different approach. You could also ask how they like it to be done. Treat this in the same way that you would treat your penis or vagina. . sensitively. Be gentle when asking or maybe say to them that you find it a major turn on to watch them for a moment or ask if they would show you how they like it. This is where Trust and Respect come into play. You have to trust your partner enough to believe they would never say anything to intentionally hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. and you have to respect each other enough to understand that we're all only human and are fallible. Be honest and tell your lover if something they are doing isn't giving you the best feeling and trust that you're lover isn't trying to put your technique down, but convey that it isn't working for them.
With open and honest Communication, you are well on your way to making your love making sessions that much more satisfying. Talk to your lover, believe they only want the best for you, and and respect them enough to let them know, gently, that they are off the mark just a bit and follow it up with a suggestion on how to improve their technique for you!
Thanks for taking the time to stop by and reading my blog. if you liked it, share it with your friends! if you have something to add or a question, feel free to do so below. I look forward to hearing from you and hope you decide to come back again!
Namaste
Lets take this a step further and apply it in the bedroom. Everyone is not built equal. The sooner you realize this and accept it, the better you'll be able to adapt. For example, when stimulating the clitoris, some woman can't handle direct contact from a finger and need an extra layer of skin, usually the hood. How would you know this? Hopefully she's communicated that to you in some way. In the same department, some men need the foreskin pulled up over the head, again, hopefully he's relayed that information to his partner.
Now, what happens if this information isn't relayed verbally? You need to be sensitive to their physical reactions as well. . people use body language to convey feelings that they may not realize or feel comfortable verbally discussing. Pay attention to your partner. Go slow in the beginning and see how they respond. If you notice them pulling away or wincing, you may want to try a different approach. You could also ask how they like it to be done. Treat this in the same way that you would treat your penis or vagina. . sensitively. Be gentle when asking or maybe say to them that you find it a major turn on to watch them for a moment or ask if they would show you how they like it. This is where Trust and Respect come into play. You have to trust your partner enough to believe they would never say anything to intentionally hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. and you have to respect each other enough to understand that we're all only human and are fallible. Be honest and tell your lover if something they are doing isn't giving you the best feeling and trust that you're lover isn't trying to put your technique down, but convey that it isn't working for them.
With open and honest Communication, you are well on your way to making your love making sessions that much more satisfying. Talk to your lover, believe they only want the best for you, and and respect them enough to let them know, gently, that they are off the mark just a bit and follow it up with a suggestion on how to improve their technique for you!
Thanks for taking the time to stop by and reading my blog. if you liked it, share it with your friends! if you have something to add or a question, feel free to do so below. I look forward to hearing from you and hope you decide to come back again!
Namaste
Welcome to my blog!
Thanks for visiting and please bookmark and check back as you can!
Please pardon the "Barren" motif as I just went live! I will be posting my 1st official blog in the next couple days and it will address one of the most important aspects of why I started this blog, and that is Communication. feel free to email me with any and all questions, comments, concerns you may have about any of my topics or even a suggestion on what you'd like me to cover next! and as always, please share you comments with everyone below each post! thanks again and I look forward to what I hope to be an awesome experience with all of you!
Namaste
Please pardon the "Barren" motif as I just went live! I will be posting my 1st official blog in the next couple days and it will address one of the most important aspects of why I started this blog, and that is Communication. feel free to email me with any and all questions, comments, concerns you may have about any of my topics or even a suggestion on what you'd like me to cover next! and as always, please share you comments with everyone below each post! thanks again and I look forward to what I hope to be an awesome experience with all of you!
Namaste
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