Foreplay: It's not just for erotic novels

     Yes, I went there, and I'm going to discuss it. Foreplay is an important part of getting her there and for her to really enjoy herself. Are you finding that you're having to purchase lube by the gallon? does she always seem dry? Yes, some of it has to do with actual medical issues and it can be a problem as a woman gets older, but it may not be either of those. Some women just aren't given the opportunity to get their natural juices flowing.
   
     Men, have you ever experienced that OMG experience where Jr just doesn't want to rise to the occasion? Commercials will have you believe that maybe you need a little blue pill. Maybe your mind just isn't in the game. Stress is a HUGE factor for both men and women when it comes to preforming in the bedroom. Foreplay can be the missing answer to both of these problems. Lets discuss the topic a little bit more.
   
     I'm going to start with the definition from the dictionary.

1. erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse
2. action or behavior that precedes an event

     This is where I believe the confusion starts. Everyone relates these activities to After the clothes
have hit the floor. I would like to take it back a step or 12. Foreplay can start before you even get out of bed that morning. Give your partner a good morning kiss. Men, Start a load of dishes before heading out the door for work. Women, Pack his lunch for him with his favorites. You could also at some point in the day, send an "I love you" text or "Thinking about you" (this might work better on the women then men,) And once you're both home, maybe he looks like he had a rough day, gently rub his back and ask him how his day was. Men, this is where you need to have done your homework. What does she do every night? what does she like to do? Maybe run a bath for her with some of her favorite scented soaps if that's her thing, or of you know ahead of time that her day was particularly difficult, you could stop and grab her a bouquet of flowers and have them in a vase on the dining room table when she walks in.

     The point here is to show a little initiative and sensitivity. Show them you're paying attention to them and their needs and that you're willing to take the extra step to be supportive.  Sometimes that's all it takes to get them to relax and relieve some tension, or maybe forget about the world around them for just a few minutes. You would be surprised at how just an offer to help make dinner changes your partners mood to your benefit and get you that night you've been hoping for. The 1st part of foreplay is to get their mind there. If you can do that, it'll be much easier in the bedroom to get their body there.

     Which brings us to the bedroom. The part everyone assumes we're talking about when "Foreplay" is mentioned. some of the material mentioned above can carry over here as far as thought processes go. Does your partner have an "Instant on" button? That's great! If not, there's some work to be done, but the prize is worth it! If you play your cards right, everyone comes out a winner in the end.

     Use all the senses to your benefit. Sight is one that everyone relates to. Maybe do a little strip tease for them. You don't have to be Magic Mike, if your partner is into you, and you have any kind of rhythm, it could be a crowd pleaser regardless! Pay attention to her bra and panties, men. If they're frilly and lacey, comment on them! Women love to look good, not just for them, but for you too.
Make sure she knows you appreciate it.

     Sound is one that a lot of people overlook and can be difficult when you have children in the next room, but sometimes a whisper can be more of a turn on. Whisper in their ear and tell them how hot you are and how hot they make you feel and maybe nibble the ear. Respond with a groan or moan when something feels good or sounds good. It lets the other person know that you like what they're doing and just might make a note of it to try it again in the future. Dirty talk is something that isn't for everyone though, so you're going to want to be receptive to how they react if you try it and they don't like it, you'll be able to tell if you're paying attention.

     Smell is one you really need to be on top of. There are some smells that totally turn a person off. This should be something that doesn't need said, but I'm going to anyway. Please make sure you're keeping everything cleaned up and deodorant is being used and that any perfume or cologne you wear is appreciated by both parties and that you didn't bathe in it. trust me, a small spritz goes a long way. One way to use scent to your advantage is light her favorite scented candle in the room before she enters. Women find candles to be very romantic and if she smells that you're using her scented ones (please be careful mixing scents if you're inexperienced, just use one scented one) that may play well into your court as well.

     Taste can play in with flavored lotions or lubes or even food! I'm sure you've read somewhere about using whipped cream or chocolate syrup. Give it a go! It may not be something you'd want to do regularly, but sometimes mixing it up makes the experience that much more enjoyable.

     And that brings us to touch. For the love of all that's sacred, don't go straight to the goods! Prolong the anticipation. Make them want whats coming. Tease is the name of the game! Kiss them, but trace the tip of your tongue lightly over their lips. Gently nibble their earlobe when you tell them how much you want them. Flick your tongue against their neck as you work down to their nipples. Yes, you should be paying attention to them also. And don't be afraid to use your teeth, just don't draw blood! Nibbling is a turn on, most don't find a band aide run sexy, and it's a safe bet to leave the fangs out of the equation when you go below decks.

     The biggest thing to remember with Foreplay is to tease and prolong the experience. Use the body's erogenous zones to get the motors going. Then once you go in, you don't have to just dive in and go to town either. Use all the spots together. You have 2 hands and a mouth, use them! If your working on the clit with your finger, maybe use your tongue on her neck or kiss her and lightly roll a nipple between your fingers on the other hand.  Go from one to the next. There's no rule that says ones you hit the clit, there's no going back to the breasts.

     A good session of foreplay before engaging in intercourse can mean the difference between frustration and multiple orgasms. Learn what gives your partner the most pleasure and work that into the session. And you don't need to hit every one every time. As long as your receptive and alert to what makes them react and your partner also lets you know, there's nothing that can stop you from both achieving the best sexual experience each and every time.