Remembering back, before children, I enjoyed making love to my partner on a semi-regular basis. Timimg was more along the lines of "Can I get a quicky in before the races start" and less about trying to match schedules. Its something all parents have to deal with and everyone reacts differently. Sometimes people just shut down, try and forget sex or give up on trying to find time. There were times I gave up on waiting for an opportunity to present itself and hearing "I'm tired, I'm not in the mood, or something else" and took care of it myself. Does that make me a bad person? I don't think so, it's just how it works out sometimes. But I didn't give up. We worked through it.
In the beginning, after our 1st child was born, he didn't sleep very much, so neither did we. We really didn't think much about sex. Everything we did was to nurture this little tiny human who loved to play this game of "I'll cry and you have to guess what I want" To this day, it is my least favorite game to play and I thank GOD my children can talk! Anyway, it wasn't until a few months went by that I decided I was ready to get back in the saddle, so to speak. The wife had other ideas, I soon found out. It was frustrating, I'm not gonna lie. As time went on, we were able to work in time for us and as he grew, we were able to get more and more time and we were able to work it out so that we were still having intimate time even it it wasn't in the same amount as we were used to. Just because our family grew, didn't mean the hours in the day increased as well and we accepted that.
Then we had number 2, our daughter. Oh man, here we go again! This time we had talked about it through the pregnancy, we had a plan. We were going to get through this. And again, it was tough on both of us, especially with 2 children now. But we found ways around it as I offered as suggestions in the previous post. Having children changes everything. You buy more, spend more, and end up with less time for everything that needs to be done. Some things have to be altered, but nothing has to be sacrificed. You may not have the energy you want, so you learn to conserve when you can. Cut corners when shopping, like buying in bulk where ya can. Skip the gym on Fridays so you can watch your kids ball games. You make due with what you have.
The biggest thing you have to keep in mind is that you're partner is being effected by this, just like you. You need to keep the lines of Communication open. Trust that they will understand what you're saying, and work toward a common goal. Don't throw accusations that he or she isn't interested any more or say that you're giving up. You have to understand that life changes and you need to adapt to these changes and make them work for you, not against you. Be creative, plan, but be ready to jump at an opportunity! Love what you're given and give love in return. Talk! and remember to listen as well. It takes 2 people to make a baby, and it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. Together, you can get through the touch times and make the good times outstanding!
That's all I have on this one. Remember to click the comment link below and let me know what you want to hear about in the next one!
Kids challenge everything about a relationship, from sex to parenting ideas to mealtime. Making a plan ahead of time is important. Most people don't do this - they don't realize they need to. Great point.
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